Two Can Play at this Game

  

I promise you, I was not kidding OR exaggerating.

 


    Many years ago, when we lived briefly in the suburbs outside Richmond, Virginia, I became mortified one day.  To be honest, I was mortified a lot when we lived there, but I am going to try to stay on topic here.  There was an orange white and black sign, which looked an awful lot like the "Neighborhood Watch" signs of today, which declared that particular street a "No Prostitution Zone" !   Well, thanks for that.  Now we all know that this particular few blocks is set aside as a place where prostitution is frowned upon.  I guess someone living near there must be allergic to latex or something. We can't have the poor soul encountering condoms on the street, can we ?   Silly me. I know I am simply a nurse, and perhaps a naive one at that, but I had been operating on the mistaken idea that prostitution is illegal everywhere in Virginia !   (I am aware that that parts of Nevada have permitted regulated prostitution.)  I certainly hope that since this street in Richmond has been demarkated as prostitution free, that the tree lined family street I lived on at the time, isn't a prostitution protected zone !  Who decides these things anyway ?

These are particularly popular around schools where someone might have a physician ordered emergency asthma inhaler, or a glucagon emergency kit for insulin shock, or maybe even an epipen kit for an allergic emergency.   After all, Virginia schools don't have nurses in fulltime attenadance, and we wouldn't want a mere teacher to have to learn how to use one of these.

 


         When my kids grew up and went to the university, it once again brought them to Richmond, Virginia.  Virginia Commonwealth University is an incredibly decentralized urban campus with 34,000 students in attendance. The university stretches all over the city leaving my kids, and everyone elses taking classes in three zip codes.   Wouldn't you know it ?   Some of these areas are Drug Free Zones.  What does this mean ?  Does this mean that illegal drugs can't be dealt there, when they can everywhere else ?  Does this mean my daughter with an insulin pump needs to carry a written prescription for it there ?   Does it mean she better not carry her insulin and her syringes as back up, as her doctor has instructed ?  Silly me.  I thought illegal drugs were illegal in the entire state.  As a nurse, this is something I should know about.  Are the penalties for people who deal drugs more favorable in certain zones ?

This must be the sign which tells honest citizens that they better not go here if anemic, because they could be unable to return fire if needed.

 

         Being older and wiser, I am starting to get the hang of some of the stupidity which is life in the US sometimes.  I am beginning to grasp the definition of a Gun Free Zone.    A Gun Free Zone is an area in which a criminal can have a reasonable assurance that no one will be armed and able to stop him when he finally snaps and decides to kill innocent people or attack a domestic partner who has decided to leave him.  When I got my concealed weapons permit, they made sure that I knew exactly where all the Gun Free Zones were.  This was very helpful as I am very careful now to avoid all of them at all costs.  This of course does cut down the money I spend in those places, but then, that's just one of the hidden benefits of having a concealed weapon.   I think I am beginning to get the hang of all these zones.
         I think I would like to propose some zones of my own devoted to my own special interests.  I would like to see some Free Trade Chocolate Zones.  These are zones in which free samples of chocolate are made available to women who are shopping who might like to consider buying the different world varieties duty and federal and state tax free.   I would also like to see rural  "Spouse Free Miniature Pony Zones" in which different varieties of ponies can be sold, and where transportation can be arranged, without bothering the poor spouse of the person considering the pony.   Remind me to help my daughter get a tax preparer in the "No Rip-Off Zone".   I think my concepts for zones are at least as intelligent as the others we presently have in operation !