Sunday, September 2, 2012

Make Time for Parties with Friends


A close friend invited my family and I to an evening garden party yesterday.  It was to be an end of Summer evening party and a farewell and best wishes party to their daughter who will be going to the United Kingdom to complete her Master's degree at a wonderful university there.  I had planned to bring the entire family, but yesterday, my own daughter was grieving the sudden death of a friend, and had a migraine, and my husband offered to stay with her.  Two of my sons were otherwise scheduled.  By the time the evening party began, I didn't feel much like going, but I felt it was important to support my friend, and so both my eldest son Adam and I attended.    It was a lovely event.  I am very fond of my friend's daughter, and she has earned such a wonderful opportunity.  As exciting as living in Scotland will be, it will still be an adjustment, and it will take her away from her close friends and from her very loving parents, from her boyfriend, and also from her brother.  Still, this is why we raise our children.  They must go into the world, and make use of the opportunities they choose. Nights like these are like the gravy of life. They are celebrations of why we do, everything we do.


  It was wonderful to meet my friend's daughter's roommates and her friends from the college from which she has just graduated. They were all intelligent, reasonable and gifted people, and speaking to them, I got a hint of the idea that the world might be in good hands after all.   My friend is the consummate hostess, one of those rare people who is comfortable with all people, entertaining in all situations and also, what we used to call, "a hostess with the mostest."    The food was not only excellent and varied, as were all the drinks, but the conversations and gatherings and music were so good that I wound up eating very little ! There was a disc jockey and good music, two large screen televisions in the house where people took turns watching their favorite teams playing football. There were also a couple of croquet games under way.
      This evening was a reminder that as hard as we all work, we must make time for friends, for shared food and drink, for gatherings, conversation, and laughter, because over all, the entire journey is just too short.


kymber said...

Jane - you are correct as usual! just last week we were invited to go and visit our new friends for yesterday afternoon. i got up yesterday and sort of/kind of wanted to just stay home. but i forced myself to get ready and off we went to our friends' house. they were so happy to see us and to show us all of the work that they have been doing on their cottage (they intend to move here full-time in 3 yrs), asked for our advice about their well, their sump-pump, etc. the woman is the daughter of our community matriarch who we love, and her husband served 20yrs in the Canadian Forces and he loves that there is someone (me) in our small community who he can talk to about things that only he and i understand. we had such a good time! they thoroughly enjoyed the fresh-made ginger lemonade that i had prepared as neither of them are alcohol drinkers (score for me - i didn't know that! and normally people here bring beer (ugh) when they visit each other!). the woman went on and on that no one had ever made them fresh-made lemonade and they drank every drop! i felt awesome! and they made it so clear how happy and honoured they felt that we would come to visit them - imagine, eh? anyway, i thought we would stay for an hour, maybe two, but we stayed for 5 hours! the time passed in a blink, a friendship was cemented...and when her mother, our matriarch, dropped by and we were all sitting there looking like pigs in mud...well, our matriarch couldn't have been happier! it is so important for our spiritual and emotional lives to connect with our friends often...even if there are dishes to be done at home, or bills to sort, or if we aren't really feeling like it. maintaining our friendships feeds our spiritual and emotional souls...and just like our physical bodies, those things need to be nurtured inside of us as well.

i am so glad that you had such a lovely time. your friend,

JaneofVirginia said...

Kymber, You said it all so well. I am afraid, better than I.
How ironic that you don't drink alcohol. Neither do my husband or I, OR the friend I visited yesterday or her husband ! She had some Stella Artois and bottled hard lemonade there for the younger set who was over 21, but I enjoyed plain lemonade, gatorade, ice water, and Pellegrino orange. It is so important, most especially in such stressful times, to make time to stop the clock and spend time together, as hard as this may be sometimes. I too need to stop and remember this sometimes. Love to you and Jam.